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I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
I`ve got good news and bad news. The good news is this status is almost over. The bad news is you read the whole thing.
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
I can`t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
I`d say 20% of my day is spent trying to convince the dog we`re not about to be murdered by the UPS guy, mailman, squirrels, or the ice dispenser..
Being the fat guy at McDonald`s is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business.
I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
You know you are meant to be when you high five after sex.
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0
Single, means never having to say you`re sorry.
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…
I`m pretty sober, but I`m prettier drunk.