Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
Corduroy pillows?... They`re making headlines!....
A penny for your thoughts. Five bucks if they`re dirty.
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
Gun Control: Use both hands
Go to China on honeymoon. Get intimate with Husband. Tell child that they were "Made in China."
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesturday, yesturday you were pretty f*cking annoying.
I have found my sleep number and it is eleven, eleven beers.
I only drink coffee because cocaine is too expensive.
Life should be more like Hockey. If somebody pisses you off, you beat the sh!t out of them, then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes
I embraced my inner child today and the lil` bastard bit me!