Daily Silly Status

Things are finally looking up for me. This Victoria`s Secret catalog just told me this is going to be "your sexiest year ever."

It`s not so much blowing my diet as preventing the fudgesicles from developing freezer burn.

Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.

For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.

!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.

I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this

Dear sneeze, If you`re gonna happen, happen. Don`t put a stupid look on my face and leave

Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.

Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet.

I wouldn`t consider myself someone that litters but I do turn on my windshield wipers while im driving down the road to get rid of that useless flyer some idiot put on my car when I quickly run into the store.

I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.

If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.

I just want to be rich enough to tell my boss, "you`re not the boss of me"!

I`m old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy.

Stop undressing me with your eyes!...Use your teeth!