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Financial status: I hope United Airlines drags me off my flight
Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone and I`m the a$$hole for tripping him?
Thinking of getting another kitchen table just for all my mail
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
Happy Fourth of July!! Or as the rest of the world likes to call it, Friday.
30 seconds left on the microwave ~ Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone ~ Men: do the space shuttle countdown
Instead of laughing my a$$ off, I`m going to start laughing my stomach off. I`d rather lose that.
Just once, I`d like to clock out from work by sliding down a dinosaur.
I forgot to post this earlier
Do you have to water a Pointsettia or do they die on their own?
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
You ever think that maybe the reason geese are always honking is because they`re flying too close together?
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
The 4 stages of a relationship: 1. I like you 2. I love you 3. I hate you 4. Arson