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I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution ... 1024×768.
If you`re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
If Freud was alive today he would probably be awesome at telling "Yo Momma" jokes.
My house looks like I`m losing a game of Jumanji.
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we`re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet
We got an extra day this year. Why did it have to be a Monday?
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it´s for them?
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-
The problem with drinking with people from work is they`re the ones I bitch about when I`m drunk.