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I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don`t know whose side I`m on.
No one knows what women really want, but everyone agrees it still won`t be enough.
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
To the 84yo woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby ;)
I knew the fun part of my life was over when my friends started getting pregnant on purpose
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
I go out all day looking good and saw no one I know. I go out for 5 minutes looking like sh!t and it`s all of the sudden a f*cking reunion.
True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
Screw doing situps...teddy bears don`t and everyone loves them.
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow, but Iām going to be too busy sitting on mine.
Show me on the back of your mini van window where your life went wrong.
If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?
I need to stop lying to myself ... This bag of Reese cups will never make it to Halloween
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
wishes that more people would declare thumb wars these days. I`m sure that all this texting has prepared my thumb muscles for battle.