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Does anyone know where the off switch on a child is? I can’t seem to find it.
Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they`re talking?
Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost a fortune in stamps.
You never really know someone until you break up with them. If they don’t go crazy and try to kill you than maybe you should give them a second chance.
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
Hey dude who flipped me off in the Subway parking lot for honking at you, you left your dinner on top of your car.
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
That disappointing moment when you pull up to work and it`s not fully engulfed in fire.
Even if your not successful in life , You are guaranteed to get two certificates
I was the kid my parents warned me about.
Porn & love songs. Destroying reality forever.
take it easy and if it is easy take it home
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.
Never resist a mad impulse to do something nice for me.