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I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
They don`t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
If I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die. I wouldn`t want to be me on that day.
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE!? Neighbor: Get out of my house! Me: You`re not even guessing.
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one.
The only thing Facebook has ever done for me is make me realize a lot of my friends are idiots.
Health care in this country is a disgrace. My doctor said run 3 miles a day for a month. I`m now completely lost & 90 miles away from home.
If you`re looking for happiness, walk to your nearest liquor store.
You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused