Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
“I went to Jared” I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your house. Those bastads live forever.
Forrest Gump forever changed the way I pronounce buttocks.
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
I`m pretty sure apple kid below needs help..
I don`t remember anything that happened, but I may have had a drink or two...
Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
If you try to pronounce “lmao” you sound like a french cat.
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!
Little known fact: Walt Disney was the inventor of modern day text talk "M - I - C... C u real soon... K - E - Y... Y? Because we like u"
Back in my day we had 9 planets.