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I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
Thanks to the State Farm commercial now I want a Falcon.
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
I am there for you no matter what, anytime, day or night, unless there is something good on TV or I am eating pie
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
Have you ever loved someone so much deep in your heart, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping.
I`ve totally cut carbs out of my diet. Until lunch.
Honestly, I have no idea what I would even do with 5 hours of energy.
All I`m saying is there`s a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them.
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped my phone.
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis