Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Having a contest with my couch and my washing machine to see who has more money. So far I`m in 3rd.
An awkward morning beats a boring night.
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
Well today I turned 26, not because I wanted to, but only because Facebook limits how many times you can actually change your birth year !
I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
If I could move things by telekinesis I`d squeeze people`s insides and make them fart.
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I’m going to have.
Sometimes its better to eliminate the problem rather than trying to solve it.
Ice cream is clearly God`s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras.
There are days when everything goes perfectly. . I wonder what those are like?
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
If your girlfriends cat gets eaten by an angry pitbul terrier, gently singing "The circle of life" into her ear WILL NOT cheer her up.
I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.
I hate it when I open Facebook and miss a week of work.