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Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I`m supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me.
Is "blowjob" one word or two words? God I hate writing thank you cards. -Bfanch
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
Relax, you’re not paranoid at all. Everyone is talking about you.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever
You’re lucky that I’m so terrified of prison.
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
Relationship status: running out of films on Netflix.
Just once I would like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
When someone tries to tell me they can`t do something, I`m like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
I used to be poor. Then I bought a dictionary, and now I`m impecunious.
My family tree is a cactus, we`re all pricks.
I’m actually a really nice guy once you get to blow me.