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I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
Some of my ideas are about as profitable as selling YOLO T-Shirts at a Reincarnation seminar
Remember when the world ended last year?
When one door closes, another one opens.... That`s when you realize that you`ve bought a really bad second hand car.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day............ Palm Sunday is just around the corner
The worst part of being an insomniac is having to eat spiders while Iām awake to maintain my yearly average.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
Woke up to my teen cleaning the house for "no reason" and now I have a mystery to solve.
I really hate it when I have to watch the same channel for 2 days because the remote fell behind the couch.
They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
If you want to keep a secret from me, write it down and send it to me as a Facebook event invitation.
I try not to brag but I`m really quite good at Yoga. I`m not flexible or anything but I am a master of that "Empty Your Mind" part
I wish there was a room where we could go and see all the stuff we have ever lost.