Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m one more weekend on the couch away from being a throw pillow.
Mondays should start at noon.
Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won´t spoil me.
There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.
Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs.
Here hold my dignity, I`ve got some sketchy shit to do.
Do they have to play movies so loud at the theatre? I litterally have to scream into my phone.
Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, if that doesn`t accurately describe my life I don`t know what does
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
All I ask for is a chance to prove money can`t make me happy.
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.
I really hope my spirit animal is a bear because well I would love to hibernate all winter.
I thought I cracked this "adulthood" till I realised my shirt was on inside out !!!!!
I`ll sell my broken watch when the time is right.