Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
You call it being sober. I call it on my way to the liquor store.
State of mind is in no mind to state its state of mind.
Just so we’re on the same page, I’m on 43.
When all else fails… Pizza & Beer.
Shout out to the guy behind me flashing red & blue lights.
When people ask how my childhood was, I say "Pretty good, so far."
Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead but other people do. The same is true when you are stupid.
I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
There should be an "oh my god, shut up already" button.
I`m really sick of responsibility ... and underwear
So how many pokes does it take before its considered a heavy petting?
Remember....... Its not drinking alone if you`re on Facebook ;)