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I don`t care how the future pans out, any amazon delivery from now on is referred to as a drone strike.
Live today like it`s your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn`t.
Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
If I tell you I can`t text you because I`m driving it`s only because I`m also eating.
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
Whenever someone ends their status with "LOL" I know it`s a repost, cuz...who the hell laughs at their own statuses? LMAO!
Did you know: Your life expectancy decreases every time you ... PISS ME OFF
Your shadow: What happens when light travels 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet by you.
If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
Being normal is boring.
I try to do all my pooping at work. Cause if you can get paid to poop, you`d be a fool not to.
I don’t trust public opinion polls because they don’t take into consideration the fact that the public is made up of mostly idiots.
Some of the happiest years of a woman`s life are when she`s 29.
am a bomb technician...anytime you see me running. Try keep it up