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Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.
Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears.
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds have gone South for the Winter.
Do you know what’d look good on you? Me
You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.
My chiropractor just told me that I`m well adjusted. See? Not everyone thinks I`m a total weirdo...
When life hands you lemons it should only remind you to buy more tequila, life is as simple as that.
After the doctor left the exam room from my prostate exam. The nurse came in with three words I didn`t want to hear. "Who was that?"
Accept the craziness. Life will be a bore without it.
Fact: if you give your boyfriend a bj each time you act crazy, he`ll not only forgive you,but eventually be thrilled when you act nuts.
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem 99% demons.
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!