Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
During the summer months, be sure to dress for the body you have. Not the body you want.
Don’t judge me…If you’re reading this then you aren’t working either.
One day, I will solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, it will be with alcohol.
Facebook is serious. I put more thought into whether or not to accept a friend request than whether or not to sleep with someone.
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
Commence six months of the clock in my car being wrong.
I swear my bed just whispered "Please Don`t go."
Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.
I know exactly how a bomb technician feels when I try to open a cup of cherry mixed fruit without the juice spraying out.
Okay, If we get caught here’s the story…
I`d be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive.
My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
I like to think that people that unfriend me wake up months later regretting that irreversible and life altering decision.
I just realized we cook bacon and bake cookies, get it together English.
I can’t remember ever being told I’m a bad listener