Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Between Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, Castle, and Monk...I am now fairly confident I can get away with pretty much anything.
This status update is only available in English.
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
It`s not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you`ve reached your destination.
I think you and I both know that you`re not facebook friends with me for the funny statuses.
Before Google, I averaged 220 Snapple bottles before I found the answer.
If money cant buy happiness,explain beer!
I`m going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night.
Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive
My new year`s resolution is that donuts have no calories.
All fortune cookies should just read, "You will have diarrhea for the next 24 hours.
Don`t you just love it when you see someone who is photogenic, looks perfect in every picture but then when you see them in person you`re like EURGH God Damn! What happened to you in the last 24h!
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
"in other news… it turns out being mayor of Toronto is all that its cracked up to be" - George T. Ignace
My life coach just informed me that I didnt make the team