Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
If you`re wondering about my cooking skills, I`ve been asked to bring paper towels to our family gathering.
Dear Haters, I have so much more for you to be mad at me for...please be patient.
Roughly 82% of my day is trying to decide what my next meal will be
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren`t there hot chocolate trucks in the winter?
Every morning I check my girlfriends horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
I`d share my Netflix login but I`m too embarrassed by "My List".
I hate when someone has a loud conversation on their cell phone and then gives me dirty looks for jotting down everything they say.
Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
Its so hot I used my blow dryer as a cooling fan!
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.
New diet plan: murder all the skinny people.
Pizza doesn’t ask questions. Pizza understands.
Cooking tip of the day: Rub your eyes BEFORE you dice the jalapenos...
Nothing`s more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me.