Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
60% of women fake orgasm.. 100% of men don`t give a sh*t about it..
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman. Experience tells me that if my eyes are open, I get a lot more pepper spray in them.
Is beer cheaper off the kids menu
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
I"m not saying that I am batman, i`m just saying no one has ever seen me and batman in a room together
That feeling you get when you meet someone named dick....
"I`m glad the weekends over" -Nobody ever
Iām in no shape to exercise.
I`m starting to think that all those hours in school, when I practiced writing my autograph, was just a waste of time.....
Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I`d probably have done better if they`d specified that they didn`t mean by tickling.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject
My friend bought some new floral underwear today. I asked her why she bought `floral` underwear to which she replied "its in memory of all the faces that have been buried there".
Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iphone, open and close their favorite apps. All by themselves. When I was that age, I was eating silly putty.