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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I will do a lot of things but admitting I`m cold to my wife who told me to bring a warmer jacket isn`t one of them...
When I was little we didn`t have emojis. We had to put smiley face stickers on handwritten letters like a bunch of savages.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
Person: You`re blocking the view. Me: B!tch, I am the view!
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.
Is somebody not editing what IΒ΄m saying here???
If β€œdress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
Why do people always feel safe under blankets...its not like a murderer will break in and be like "I`M GONNA KILL YAA__AAHHHhhhh dang he is under a blanket.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
A girl updated her facebook status saying: All men are dogs and I commented β€’ Which breed is your dad?
You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
On demand sucks. Hoarders made me fill up the dumpster and clean the house. Now I want to collect coupons and go to the pawn shop....
Saw a wasp in a spider web and I don`t know who to root for.