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A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
It may look like I’m in deep thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
Clearly the people that design refrigerators don`t know me if they think one tiny cheese drawer and two giant vegetable drawers is the way to go.
Attention fuels immaturity
I`d be willing to sleep my way to the top if it actually meant sleeping.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, ‘Do you want to save the changes?’
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
I was in a bar when a girl called me a cheapskate. So I threw her drink in her face.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
Is it bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening?
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
Not sure if people stopped saying YOLO or if everyone who said it died.