Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That awkward moment when your screen freezes on a really embarrassing website
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
Sorry I was staring at your nachos while you were talking about your painful divorce
I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I`m like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
I wonder how long I`ll be skinny from all this dieting and juicing I`ve been doing. 1 month? A year? A couple of ye....ooh look cake.
I really want to see you tonight. So could you please leave the blinds up and the curtains open?
I haven`t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn`t want to interrupt her.
Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand English – dogs
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
It’s too bad that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
I have the ability to drive people crazy. I`m not sure if I was born with it or if I learned it. But damn am I great at it.
Next time I`m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I`m going to turn around and say, "I`m sure you`re wondering why I`ve gathered you all here."
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?