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It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch.
I have a new rule: No one is allowed to talk to me for a minimum of 24 hours after I wake up.
It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me.
Women have all the answers, to all of your questions, and you don`t even have to ask.
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
Every Chrysler commercial should begin with them apologizing for the PT Cruiser.
My cat just dragged in a half eaten sausage, I have no idea where he got it from but it tastes expensive.
I dig, she digs, he digs, they dig, we dig. its not a good poem but its really deep.
I bet all the cool math nerds call each other algebros.
I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.
Its so cold out, I actually saw a gangsta with his pants UP!
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.
If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice.