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Gym Update: Not there.
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew..
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
I think the guy who invented the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!
Apparently "Fat Tuesday" doesn´t constitue telling fatties they´re fatties.
I am busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.
Fact: 96% of all arguments end with somebody saying “Google that shit!”
When I think of you I touch myself ... On my temples ... You give me a migraine.
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
If someone tells you “it’s better than sex” they’re not doing the sex right.
"I`ve never seen an angry stoner, see angry drunks all the time!" Clearly you`ve never tried to take a stoner`s nachos away.
I’ve been single so long I deserve a bachelors degree.
Well I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I`d say my people skills are improving.
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
If you don’t already hate people, the mall is a great place to start.