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Which wine goes best with more wine?
I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
That amazing moment when you find money in your clothes that you forgot was there.
Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while waiting.
We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
You know it´s going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with.. "Are you sitting down?"
Yes, autocorrect, that`s right. I hate that stupid ditch
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
Experience with women has taught me that Jack was most likely pushed down the hill.
Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2.
If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?