Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Corduroy boxing gloves deliver the best punchlines.
I do all of my ironing in the dryer.
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
Anytime my boss leaves her office, I sneak in there and fart.
She looks like the kind of girl that brings a suitcase on the first date.
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they`re catching on though.
I’m in no shape to exercise.
The older I get the more use I have for the phrase "bite me."
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
FYI....just in case something happens.....The cashier at the liquor store down the street is my emergency contact person.
From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch
I’m amazed by how quickly I forget what I’m doing.
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes
I`m sleeping in tell Friday so ... Happy Tuesday.