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Wife is out of town until tomorrow night. Anyone wanna come sit on the other end of the sofa and ignore me?
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
My downstairs neighbor thinks I`m a little creepy and that I overstep my bounds. At least that`s what she wrote in her diary.
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
Picking your nose doesn`t make you a bad person. .... but what you do with the booger will define you.
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.
My boss yelled at me today “It’s the fifth time you’ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday?"...
Truthfully, I`d like you all a whole lot better if you were bacon.