Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If gas prices keep going up I`m cutting off the bottom of my car and I`m "Flintstoning" That mf!
Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 3 or 4 births before they throw you out.
If there’s one piece of advice I can give you it’s to marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they wont eat all of yours.
I`m going to test my theory that tequila kills the flu... Or brain cells... Whatever, doesn`t matter... something`s gonna die tonight.
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents. The second half will be ruined by our children
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
“Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
Hey whiny kids with iPhones: when I was your age, I played with a stick.
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
If you have to use a shot glass to make your drinks then you`re not doing it right...
If you were a cookie, you’d be a whoreo.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a beautiful day.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.