Daily Silly Status

A sure fire way to lose an afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says "come on it will only take a half hour to fix"

When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.

I went to McDonald`s to grab my boys a couple of Happy meals. The guy serving me says "Would you like a Boy Toy"? I was like, "listen hear you little sh!t, you couldn`t handle me if you tried"!! What is this world coming too... :))

I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.

I miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like, bitch whatever.

hearing that Jesus loves you is very nice unless you`re in a Mexican prison

I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back

I like when people call me "Sir". I just wish they wouldn`t follow it up with "you`re making a scene."

Sitting in traffic like the non-helicopter owning loser that I am.

My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel crossing the street.

This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-

Several decisions I make on a daily basis hinge upon the question "illegal or just frowned upon?"

Remembering to remember is always the first thing I forget.

When there is nothing to do ... That`s what I do