Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I will do a lot of things but admitting I`m cold to my wife who told me to bring a warmer jacket isn`t one of them...
I made a p@nis out of Legos. A literal c*ck block.
Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
Sorry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
The parent-teacher conference is going great. They have no idea I’m not the teacher.
I knew I`d be a great parent. Kids aren`t nearly as difficult to take care of as my drunk friends.
A cool thing about being in a relationship is that when you make a mistake you get to hear about it over and over.
Ironically the only way I`d watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
Imagine all the amazing places you could take naps if you were Superman.
People in glass houses shouldn`t masturbate during the day....
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation.
How does Ice-T order an Iced Tea without sounding like a douche?
It`s fun to chant "Bloody Mary" three times into your car`s side mirror while driving at night and watch her jog to keep up
You can usually judge a women`s hotness by how many times your girlfriend calls her a whore.