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If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I`m camping, I won`t be covered.
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
I`ve been spending so much time on Facebook, that I forgot the internet has porn.
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
It`s not condescending if they`re stupid.
Fantasy football is just Dungeons and Dragons for the people who used to beat up the people who played Dungeons and Dragons.
Well after 6 months of my girlfriend nagging, I finally did it, I lost 120lbs ... I`m sure gonna miss her.
A smile is the same in every language, I`m pretty sure the pee pee dance is too
If guns don’t kill people, but people kill people, then doesn’t that mean that toasters don’t toast toast, but instead toast toasts toast?
Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those TacoBell hot sauce packets.
We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.......