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All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
People say circumcision dosen`t hurt. I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn`t walk for nearly a year.
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
Grey Goose and Red Bull, because two sets of wings is better than one.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead!
I`ve seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
Screw you, little sticker on fruit!
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
I always have a note in my pocket that says "john did it" just in case I`m murdered because I don`t want him to remarry
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.
My husband told me he needed more space ... So I locked him outside.