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It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
Being a fat guy at McDonald`s is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business
I need coffee in my life more than I need most people.
I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.
Guys, Everyone. Listen. I`m going to say two words that will change your lives. Pizza Tacos. I know. Just breath.
You know you`re broke when your Bologna Does Not have a first name!
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
I make a great second impression.
What scares me most is that some people think I actually know what I’m doing.
Being a Zombie doesn`t sound that bad. You don`t have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we’ll be new friends all over again.
Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated.