Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
That awkward moment when you run into someone and there`s no where to hide
If each day is a gift, I`d like to know where I can return Monday.
Just used a full size twix bar to stir my coffee.
I would exercise, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
The sperm bank is overpriced to store my stuff so if you come over, don`t use the cloudy ice cubes from the tray labelled "Future Champions"
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
I maybe wrong but I doubt it.
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
I laugh in the face of normal.
Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
I hate it when I fill my blowup doll with helium and then she plays hard to get...
I got in touch with my inner child and the little sh!t hung up on me.
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!