Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin aroundβ¦..Thatβs because women take up all the closets
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!
Donβt you hate when the person youβre Facebook-stalking never updates anything?
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
How much do those guys who yell in the back of rap songs make? I could totally do that.
You`re never too old to learn stupid sh!t
I don`t understand fat homeless people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
Valentineβs Day is in 4 days so if you are secretly in love with me I suggest you reveal it now.
This oatmeal tastes like I`m gonna need a doughnut.
Iβm Not Arguing. Iβm Simply Explaining Why Iβm Right.
I need a new bad decision.
Oops, I must have put my personalities on "shuffle"
I was named after my father. I don`t really like the name "Dad" though.
6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married