Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.
FYI: Push-up bras don`t actually help you do more push-ups :(
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There`s liquor and you can`t hear them.
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
Before asking a hot chick out, I wish I could first talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they`re catching on though.
Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope`s car.
I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.
The awkward moment when people think you`re drunk when in fact you`re just a blast naturally.
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
If I laugh randomly when you are talking to me, don`t worry, the voices are telling me jokes.
Ever noticed that `beer can` in a british accent sounds exactly like `bacon` in a jamaican accent?