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I still miss my ex. But my aim is gettin` better.
Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business.
Knowing sign language is a handy skill when it comes to identifying schizophrenics at famous people`s funerals.
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
I yawn all day at work & school. But when it comes to at night, I’m not tired at all.
We should`ve let the guy who named oranges keep naming other stuff.
You laugh because I´m different. I laugh cause I just farted!
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on the list.
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
I`ve got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I`m ready for anything!
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
My daughter said, "You`re the best mommy ever!" I`m really proud that she`s learning sarcasm at such a young age.
The best time to re-examine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.