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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I posted "Help, I am in an Iranian prison" everyone would be like "haha good one"
Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
If you`re going to be a smartass, you must first be smart. Otherwise, you`re just an ass.
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
Don`t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
Another day, another chance to make someone say, "Oh, now that`s just WRONG"...
My son asked what he should say if a bully said to give him his lunch money. I said tell him you left it on his moms nightstand.
My mother said, "You won`t amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
If you don`t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
I`m having an out of money experience.
What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won`t buy the book.