Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
I get you, anti-evolution people. I`m too lazy to learn science too.
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazy…
If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time.
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
Having a mohawk used to mean you were tough. Now it means you’re a 3 year-old with annoying parents.
An ex asking to stay friends after you break up is like a kidnapper asking to stay in touch after they let you go.
I told everybody at work that I`ve got 18 cats just to make sure none of them ever want to come over for anything.
I try to do all my pooping at work. Cause if you can get paid to poop, you`d be a fool not to.
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
If you cry loudly enough, your boss will usually let you go home.
I like how the nice people of Sesame Street all know that Oscar the Grouch lives in that can, and yet they still stuff their trash into it.
Karma may "work" but I think that bitch takes a lot of days off
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist