Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn`t at work anymore.
I do 5 situps every morning. I know it doesn`t sound like much, but there`s only so many times one can hit the "snooze" button......
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
I never forget a breast, I mean face. I never forget a face.
As your best friend, I swear to always pretend to be your lesbian lover when you are getting hit on by an ulgy ass hole in a bar.
there`s a fine line between "cocky" and "confidence"...and it just so happens I have perfect balance!
Yoga is a great way to meet and embarrass yourself in front of women
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
I made you a cake. I also ate it for you.
I hate it when I open my fridge and get punched by a bear... =/
My favorite in-laws are the ones that don`t exist.
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. I hope they let me back in Walmart.