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I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive ..."Hi"
How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
I`m not impatient. You`re just slow.
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
My hobbies include working out, staying fit, eating healthy, and lying.
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
This jar of peanut butter says "may contain nuts" on it. Remember when survival of the fittest was a thing? Good times.
Wow....turns out I`m NOT a Ninja. That really hurt.
Sorry a remote fell out when you took off my bra
She lost me at, "I don`t watch football."
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can`t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
Stop leaving me messages. If I ever wanted to talk to you again, I wouldn’t have borrowed all that money.
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.