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If thought bubbles appeared magically above my head I would be so screwed!
I know this will probably piss off a bunch of people I know, but what makes someone good at fishing?!? Seriously, all you did was wait longer.
I was halfway to the state line before I realized the sirens were part of the song that was playing
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it`s the scientists that aren`t washing their hands?
Wow, I haven`t seen you since the last time I wish I hadn`t seen you
Unless you fell on the treadmill, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
No means no! Unless she`s dyslexic; then it`s on!
When it comes to f*cking around, I don`t f*ck around.
Living out of your car isn`t so bad if you keep telling yourself you`re "on tour"
Life is about perspective like the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle for the lobsters in the ships kitchen
Browsing the internet when bored is like the virtual version of checking the refrigerator...
Its almost that time again! That`s right, its holiday season! Merry Black Friday sales, and happy spending!