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New Rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I am guaranteed at least one attempt at trying to trip you.
If everything tastes like us, why do we have to die? –Chickens
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
Some of you are so dumb, I don`t even know how you found the internet.
People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you`re married...that`s a job!!
I don`t speak Spanish, but I`m pretty sure "Dora" means "annoying"
1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2.
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
it`s a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors
I`d probably get a lot more done if it wasn`t for me.
You`re in your 20`s... you don`t have "haters"... you have "adults" that think you are "annoying"
They should just block cell phone service in movie theaters. Problem solved.
I just saw a 3D printer at the UPS store. It`s kind of cool, but I won`t be impressed until it can print snacks...
wishes that more people would declare thumb wars these days. I`m sure that all this texting has prepared my thumb muscles for battle.
Cute things to put in a letter to your boyfriend/girlfriend; I adore you. You complete me. Must stay 500 yards away at all times.