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I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
I wish I had a friend like me
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting . . . I nearly couldn’t finish my sandwich.
Why can`t I get service in my own home, but the god damn Taliban can upload videos from a cave in Afghanistan!?
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100`s of strangers` mouths
Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................
Why can’t I lose weight easily I mean I lose everything else without a problem.
I`m going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
Time to get Star Spangled hammered. Happy 4th you crazy Americans.
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
If you start smacking people with your wife`s purse she won`t ask you to hold it for her anymore
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?