Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You don`t see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don`t see psychics winning the lottery every week.
I love going for walks in the rain. You can pee your pants and no one will be the wiser.
Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
At a wedding reception someone yelled: “All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living” The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
Pretty proud of myself, I got a lot of procrastinating done today
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
People who don’t like pizza are people you don’t need in your life.
You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
U make me wish I had more middle fingers
Thinking about staying in tonight? Nobody looks back in life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
No, whenever there`s trouble, YOU always seem to be around ... officer.
Another successful year no random father`s day cards in the mail!
awesome collection!