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It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced “haha! Screw you!”
“I went to Jared” I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
"It`s cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I`m so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don`t have to go to Facebook today. You`re welcome.
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
I don`t care how much you liked the soap - NEVER be caught smelling your fingers while walking out of a public restroom.
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
Shout out to old people for graduating high school without Google.
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
Why do guys cheat on pretty girls with ugly ones...?
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
Wow, that Macy`s parade is crazy! The Kanye West float just cut off Snoopy and said Woodstock can fly better!
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.
Sometimes you just need to do something stupid while sober so that people will leave you alone about your drinking.