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Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.
If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years. Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
?"I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the "why aren`t you wearing pants" look."
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it`s Buddha.
The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home.
My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again.
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
Jehovah`s witnesses would probably be welcomed into more houses if they brought booze or cookies.
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
If you tickle me, I’m not responsible for your injuries.
Just heard some guy yell "F**K!" ... I thought this was impressive because not many people can pronounce asterisks.
Looks like I’m in the doghouse again, but I don’t know why. All I said to the wife was, “Is there anything important you want to tell me before the World Cup starts?”
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!