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The male version of a tramp stamp should be called a douche tag.
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
When people put pics of their vacation on FB I write: I saw fire trucks outside your house but I`m sure you already know, have a great time!
Just a reminder that your coworkers aren`t going to get eaten by bears on their own. You have to make that happen. You have to want it.
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
I don`t burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little bit each day.
gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I can´t remember if it´s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand
In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY ... My best time so far is 7 min.
I always drink responsibility I make sure that someone is responsible for buying me drinks.
*sigh* the cop at the front door is never a stripper when you need it to be
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.
Monday morning coffee is just as important as friday night liquor....almost.