Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won`t be able to see.
Enough with the lies, people who drink decaf coffee, tell us what your game plan is.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
Today, my wife asked "would you still love me if I was ugly and fat." "Yes, honey I do." was not the right answer.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas…
If you have just started playing flappy bird I would like to warn you there is nothing up ahead but more dangling pipes and disappointment
The word "Saturday" has "turd" in it. Good luck trying to ignore that for the rest of your life, starting now.
"Don`t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse."
If pigs could fly, nobody would be eating chicken wings.
What sucks about those little hotel shampoo bottles is there`s no room for the directions so you kind of have to wing it.
It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I`m trying to do that & you`re lowering my chances.