Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
First the Jerk cut me off in traffic, then stole my parking space, then his stupid car got paint all over my key!
My cat probably thinks I`m cleaning my ice cream...
I don’t understand how my house gets so messy when I literally sit in one spot with my phone all day.
A mistress is something between a Mister and a mattress.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Shout out to good looking women who date unattractive men who aren`t rich, thanks for keeping hope alive.
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
I can`t help but feel important when someone says there`s a special place in hell for people like me.
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
The only thing I have learned so far in this company meeting is that this room has 37 ceiling tiles and 24 fluorescent bulbs.
Sent an email to my Mom. Now I`m at her place showing her how to open it.
Patiently waiting for the Prozac to kick in so I can start my day....Ok, Maybe NOT patiently!
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.