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I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
+ if you wish you could record your dreams.
Dang girl,, Are you a Snickers bar? Because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly long lasting,, hold up,,,, are those nuts?
My wife let me remove all her clothes last night ... From the dryer
Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I`d say there`s a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.
Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back in my toy chest..
If I was a Jedi there is a 100% chance that I would use the Force inappropriately.
The one thing women don`t want to find in their stockings on christmas morning is their husband
Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I`ll be watching you. - Dog
"We attack at dawn!" - Hangovers
My friend told me his girlfriend talks a lot in her sleep..Apparently "I know" was not the right answer...
Statistically: 1 in 7 dwarfs are grumpy
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
I dont run from my problems, I chase them ... with alcohol
I think girls secretly enjoy putting guys in the friend zone